Edit0r’s Bloog

Stupidity

I am a very stupid person at times. These times are at night, usually on Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays, twice on each. You see, I cycle almost everywhere, my limit being a radius of the distance from Marchmont to Corstorphine (about 5 miles). This was all hunky dory in the Summer when there was lots of light for most of the day, but now the daylight hours are fewer and I have to cycle to work three evenings a week. Being the stupid and forgetful person I am, I haven’t been using bike lights at night, and neither have I been wearing a helmet. This is very stupid.

I was reminded of this stupidity last Wednesday as I was approaching work. I was going round a mini roundabout when a previously stationary car started accelerating, while I was passing directly in front of it! It hit the back wheel of my bike side-on and knocked me clean off. Fortunately, the only injury I sustained was a graze on my leg from the sprocket digging into my leg. Unfortunately the bike was not so lucky. The back wheel needs replacing, but the lass who hit me is paying for it, so I guess everything’s okay. It could have been a lot worse if I was going ever-so-slightly slower. So remember this kids, and always wear lights and a helmet at night!

Lighters

I love fire way too much. After the fiasco trying to light fireworks on a very windy bonfire night, I decided to get a windproof lighter. I opted for an incredibly hot, blue flamed Turboflame lighter instead of a Zippo because, well… they’re cooler! I ordered the Turbostick model on eBay, but failed to realise that it was too big to fit in my pocket. I sold it to Otherandrew and bought myself one of the GX7 models. Nice flame, but crap cap, and completely unsuitable for keeping in a junked out pocket. I gave this one to my brother, who is probably burning my parents’ house down as we speak.

Next I decided to go for the Phoenix model. This is probably the most aesthetically pleasing Turboflame out there. Absolutely gorgeous design. One snag though: instead of having a precise 1300C flame, it had a more spread out, colder, but more wind resistant flame (due to a strip of catalytic platinum).

Finally, I bought myself one of these bad boys: the Turbo2. This model sports two jets of bloody hot blowtorch, and has a sensible cap. Suffice to say, I used up the meagre amount of gas supplied in it within an hour of removing the thing from its packaging, but I’m going to buy a refill later today. Maybe a new error page is in order: server down due to fire…

Bunnybloog!

Sarah has been absolutely amazing and made a bloog for our bunnies! It’s incredibly cute and you should check it out. Seriosuly, dooo eeet! Now!

Also, check out Albany Power Exchange. It’s a site all about BDSM and Master/slave relationships in general. Extremely interesting reading, especially the part about total power exchange. Ach, a slave can dream. I’m gonna go fetch my collar…

I was reading through some utterly dismal poetry recently, written a few years ago by a friend who shall remain unnamed. If you want to know the sort of thing I’m talking about, go onto a random MySpace profile and take a look at some of the terrible Emo poetry some people come up with*. In light of this, I wrote a poem of my own. Don’t lay into me about being hypocritical. It’s meant to be Ironic.

To Lie Upon the Bed One Maketh

Little Johnny, sitting bored
Decided he would open Word
And make a literary beast
On which his MySpace friends would feast.

To start off, Johnny thought, he would
Compare to blood all that he could
And use black, shady, darkened pictures
To show his sad internal fixtures

Eventually, his epic done,
He posted it, so he could stun
His friends with his imagination
And cure his dull web prose stagnation

But lo! What tragic fate occurred:
His Enemies had somehow heard
That he had posted sullen verses
Which were now prone to jaunts and curses.

You read my rhyme now head the warning:
Your published works are there for scorning
And if you have thoughts on the shelf
Please, just keep them to yourself.

*I feel I should mention that this is an extremely broad, sweeping statement. There are many good writers on MySpace, you just need to know where to look.